You Only Disappear
by 0ShatteredPenance0
Summary: Song-Fic! One-Shot with Zammie!


_**Dedicated to:**_

_** Gil, I'm here with you all the way. We'll get through these tough times together.**_

_** Sheryl, you were like a sister to me and I love you. I'll miss you and remember you always. R.I.P.**_

_** Dirk, you're one of my best friends and it hurt like a pain I've never felt before to see you pass on. You weren't meant to die so young. I'll miss you. R.I.P**_

_** Rosie, we never did get along. I didn't get to know you as well as I could've. With our past situations that was impossible. Hope you're living a more peaceful life. R.I.P.**_

_** Amy, when no one else wanted to, you were my friend. You helped me stay strong when I was in my worse state. You supported me when no one else would. All because of a rumor. Love you forever. R.I.P. **_

___**You Only Disappear**_

**Close my eyes I'm moving still**

**Magazines and dollar bills**

**And you wake up to a fall of snow**

**Your telephone your radio**

It was winter in Virginia. I looked out the window, watching the snow. Bex and I were back early from London and I was thinking about Zach. When was I not thinking about him?

His intense green eyes, the way his dark brown hair fell in his face. That smirk he always wore that made me so annoyed, yet I couldn't stop staring. But he was gone. Maybe forever. He kissed me in front of the entire school, humiliated me countless times. He was in Boston. He was there whenever I was in danger. He's saved me from the Circle. He's saved me from losing myself completely.

I snuck out of the mansion, not afraid if the Circle came after me or not.

I walked around the town and stopped at the gazebo where memories of Josh came flooding back. But I felt a different pair of eyes on me and turned around.

The unknown man grabbed my wrist and I roundhouse kicked him. But, he grabbed my leg and flipped me to the floor where he pinned me. I tried to struggle out of his grip but he held me down with too much force.

"The Chameleon has been captured." I heard him say into a comms.

Suddenly, the man was lying down next to me, unconscious.

"Cammie," a gruff voice called my name, my vision blurry but I could still tell it was a man.

**Baby I'll call up a storm**

**Keep you safe from harm**

**But you only you only disappear**

**You only you only disappear**

I woke up still at the gazebo except now it was dark and snowflakes were falling lightly around me. There were Christmas lights that lit up the gazebo and I stared in awe at the beautiful sight.

"Good, you're finally awake, Gallagher Girl," the same gruff voice said behind me and I turned to face Zach Goode.

He had on dark pants, a navy blue button up collared shirt. His green eyes were dark and the flecks of gold sparkled with the Christmas lights.

I fought the urge to run up and embrace him, feel his body close to mine. So I just whispered, "Why are you here?"

He looked at me as if I should know the answer but shook his head. We were silent for what seemed like forever.

"Be safe," Zach told me and kissed my forehead and ran off into the night, before I could tell him to do the same.

I sat in the passageway thinking I might not see him again. He was my night in shining armor and yet he disappeared when I needed him most. He's saved me countless times and yet a part of me dies when I see him leave me.

He's gone.

**I can live with my regrets**

**Still raise a smile, still raise my head**

**And a stranger God can be so cruel**

**And a holy fool is still a fool**

It was years later. We all worked for the CIA, leading our dangerous lives together. Zach and I had been dating ever since senior year in High School. We had already taken down the Circle. I always thought about that night in the gazebo, especially when Zach was on a mission.

I walked into my apartment in D.C where I lived with Zach and put my bag and keys on the counter. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled it with water when I felt arms slide around my waist.

"How was your day, Gallagher Girl?" Zach asked. He still always called me by my pet name from high school. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Better now," I said placing the glass on the counter and turning myself in his arms and buried my face in his chest. I heard Zach's heart beating rapidly and smiled softly until I looked into his enchanting eyes. They were full of sadness.

"What's wrong?" I asked and he let out a shaky breath. Zach never gets nervous or worried. His usual smirk was replaced with his lips pressed together in a straight line, trying to mask his emotions. But when you love a person as I love Zach, you know what they're feeling like you know your own. Plus being a spy helps.

"I'm going on an A rank mission, Cammie," he said and my smile faded. I searched his eyes, hoping his cocky self would show instead. I couldn't bare to see him this way.

"Zach I…" I trailed off when he kissed my forehead.

"I have to go now," he said and pressed his lips to mine and all I could do was melt in his arms.

He pulled away, "I love you Cammie," he said and grabbed his bags, disappearing into the night. Just like the night in the Gazebo. No, not again.

I mustered up some courage and ran out the door to catch him getting into his car.

"You'll come back, Goode! You be safe this time," I said, holding back tears as he embraced me one last time but surprised me by getting down on one knee.

"I was saving this for when I came back, but…" he looked fished around in his pocket and held out a small velvet box.

"Will you marry me, Cameron Morgan?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said through tears and he pulled me into a softer kiss that held all the emotion I was feeling. Love, worry, hurt, and happiness all in one kiss.

He put the ring on my finger and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I will come back, I promise," he said but his eyes were still dark.

"Goodbye, Cammie," he said and I knew that no one says goodbye unless they know they aren't or might not come back. And he drove off, leaving me on the steps outside of our apartment building, staring at the ring with tears streaming down my cheeks.

**But this is all I can say**

**I have lost my way**

**But you only you only disappear**

**You only you only disappear**

It's been eight months and Zach still wasn't back. I barely slept at night. He was always on my mind. The director of the CIA put me on paperwork ever since he left. As a spy this was the worse possible state I could be in. I had fallen in love. My emotions took over every action. I couldn't be trusted on missions anymore. I went form the best to desk job.

That's the effect Zach Goode had on me. I couldn't live my life with him away. He was my beloved fiancé and he promised he would be back.

I kept telling myself that over and over.

_He'll come back. He always does. He will come back. He's going to be back._

**With a word with a line**

**With a smile that says goodbye**

**Baby says goodbye**

**Baby says goodbye**

I played with my engagement ring as I sat in the director's office. He told me he needed to tell me some important news. I dreaded what he was going to say. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he tells me…

"Agent Morgan. We have been notified this morning that your fiancé, Zachary Goode, has been killed in action. We are very sorry for your loss…" I didn't bother listen to whatever else he was going to say.

I ran through the halls of the headquarters, the tears inevitably falling down my cheeks, leaving hot streaks.

I slammed the door to our… my apartment and cried. I glanced at his dresser beside his side of the bed to see a picture of a younger, happier couple. His smirk showed clearly in the picture, his disheveled hair falling into those eyes. The eyes I always lost myself in.

I took the picture and held it in my hands.

_You promised! We were going to live our lives together… you promised._

I cried sleeping on Zach's side. I could smell his faint scent and imagined him being here with me right now.

But he would never be with me again. He said goodbye.

**It's raining now**

**On Royal Street**

**And I'd walk to you**

**If I could trust my feet**

I quit the CIA knowing I was unstable. My emotions overwhelming. I still wore the engagement ring. I don't know why I still wear it. Maybe it's because I keep hoping for a miracle that will never happen. Zach won't come back.

I started teaching at Gallagher because it was the only place that I could ever call home. Plus, the memory of Zach in the apartment in D.C was too much.

I walked the streets of Roseville. My Cove Ops class was doing brush passes with each other. It brought back memories of the exchange with Blackthorne in sophomore year. I smiled at the memory.

My smile faded when I realized I subconsciously walked back to the Gazebo.

I leaned against it, walking up the steps to look around. It was winter again and the Christmas lights were wrapped around it, all of them lit up. It was getting darker and I felt a single tear slide down my cheek has I stared at the engagement ring.

The last time I was here, I was with the love of my life, the world was blissful as the snow fell down around us. Now I was back and I was alone, with the cold dark wind piercing me, sending shivers up and down my body. It was then that I realized how much I missed the warmth that radiated off of Zach when I held him.

_It's time I move on. _ I thought sorrowfully. I couldn't keep killing myself like this.

I looked at the rock by the Gazebo steps where I used to put the letters to Josh years ago. I slid off the engagement ring and placed it on the step beside the rock. I covered my mouth with my hand to suppress the sobs that were now pouring rapidly down my cheeks, messing up the light eyeliner I had on.

I urged myself to walk away from the gazebo. Leaving the last bit of Zach I had left behind me. The drizzle turned into pouring rain and it masked my sobs as I heard the laughter of the girls on my comms.

With that, I disappeared into the night. Just how Zach would only disappear.

**A.N. So this was my first Song-Fiction! I do not own You Only Disappear. Tom McRae does! Please Review! I love reviews! I want to know what you guys think. What I should work on? Yes, I'm asking for constructive reviews 80 hehheh. Anyways, R&R! Love you guys!**

** ~Akira**


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